


Dance Room

by yzabel



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Dance Metaphors, Dance Room, Dancer Choi Yeonjun, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Oblivious Choi Beomgyu, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited, Unrequited Love, dance, still bad at this sorry sksks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:21:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yzabel/pseuds/yzabel
Summary: I feel like everything within me is panicking like I was going crazy. My heart was beating like crazy, and so was my breathing. I've never felt something like this before.What was about him that drove me this crazy? Was it his lips? His raven locks? His hands? His voice? Or maybe it was those eyes, those dazzling eyes that got me hooked the moment it locked gazes with me.That night.We met that night.On a cold February night in the dance room, I met Beomgyu.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Dance Room

That night.

We met that night in the dance room. 

It was five minutes passed twelve, the four-walled room was enveloped with a dim lighting that roughly covered the entire room, color gray painted the thin walls, and a long clean wall mirror stood in front of me; I looked at myself as my chest rose and fall in a fast pace. Beads of sweats rolled down my fair skin, and the loud sound of my breathing echoed around the big room.

Every part of my body felt heavy, like bags of rocks were hanging on my shoulders. My throat felt dry and I couldn't breathe properly, as if a tie entangled itself around my neck—choking me without mercy. I've been dancing for hours now; polishing, fixing, and repeating the steps over and over again. 

Thirsty. I was thirsty for perfection. I wanted to dance the choreography perfectly; no mistakes, no lacking, just pure perfection. I know, I'm acting like a perfectionist, but I couldn't care less. All I know is that I want everything to be satisfying. I will not leave any regrets, because I know that even if I made one unnoticeable mistake, I'd still carry it for life.

Wiping away my sweat, I took a deep breath and played the music once again. As I felt the soothing melody linger through my skin, my body started to move. Elegance, emotions, and consistency; that's all I need to give. That's all it takes to satisfy not just myself, but everyone else.

Raising my hands in the moist air as if I was trying to reach for the brightest star that was taking a nap in the hollow sky, spinning around like a toy ballerina that's displayed in your room, and hugging the music as if it was my muse that's dancing with me in this cold night.

Then, I stopped.

I saw that one image I never wanted to witness in front of the mirror; a mistake that I've made. That goddamn mistake I always tried to avoid, it's making me doubt my ability in dancing; with each mistake I make while dancing, I'm making everyone around me disappointed. Although they never said it, I could feel the disappointment and unsatisfactory bleeding out their eyes.

I wanted it to stop, I wanted myself to stop making mistakes. Ruffling my yellow locks, I turned the music off and lets out a frustrated sigh. I was about to practice again when suddenly, I heard shuffling sounds from behind the white door of this room. Arching a brow, I stopped my steps. 

Taking in a big amount of breath from the moist air, I slowly took steps towards the white door. Slow but heavy footsteps that went in sync with my heaving breathing, I won't deny it, of course, I'm scared. I mean, who wouldn't be? A certain type of emotion reached my chest, causing my heart to beat faster than before. My hands were shaking, and I felt my nape ran cold.

I reached for the doorknob, slowly twisting it letting the door click open. A creaking sound followed as it goes, completely opening the door—I felt my lungs jump out of my chest.

"Damn it!"

I cursed brought by annoyance, pinching the bridge of my nose, I threw a glare at the boy standing before me. Scratching the back of his ear, the boy bowed his head, "I'm sorry for disturbing you. I was... um..." Slowly, he straightens his back and looked at me.

It was hard to see, the who studio was enveloped by darkness. The only light that crawled in this small building was the moon's dim rays that went through the glass windows. I couldn't even see his face properly, but I can see those pair of glossy eyes. Honestly, I didn't know the reason, but his eyes looked like they wanted to tell me something his lips can't. As if a whole book of words were filling up in those hazel orbs, they looked captivating. I, somehow, felt my heart race yet again. It was insensible, I didn't even know him.

"You were what? Don't me tell me you were watching me this whole time," Amusement was present in my voice. Apparently, I really am amused. There was something about the way he scratched the back of his ear and bite his lip while trying to find the right words to say. It emitted something within me, like a wildfire that burnt down an entire forest.

"What? No... maybe? Yes," Letting out a sigh while gently closing his eyes, he bowed again. "I'm sorry. You're just really good at dancing that I can't help but stare. I'm very sorry, you must think I'm a creep now..." Looking back at me, he pursed his lips together.

Running my fingers through my yellow locks, I let out a sigh, "It's fine."

Having enough of the darkness, I decided to turn the lights on. After finally finding the switch that was near the door, the whole studio was now lit up.

I looked at the boy again, and I swear I just felt another rope tie itself around my lungs- preventing me from breathing. He just took my breath away; much more than what an artwork can make a person lost with words, and much more than the amount of breath a tiring choreography can take.

His raven locks brushed up revealing his forehead, those long lashes around his dazzling eyes, pink lips that were curved to a smile, and the way he looked so gorgeous even with only wearing a white hoodie and pants.

One word can describe him; Breathtaking. He was undeniably breathtaking. I felt my heart racing once again, each beat getting faster and faster. I felt like suffocating, that I suddenly forgot how to breathe.

"I'm Beomgyu by the way," He lends out his hand. A smile was still plastered on his pink lips, curving together with his doe eyes.

"Yeonjun," Was the only thing I said. The moment our hands touched, I felt electricity ran across my veins towards my scarlet heart. For the umpteenth time, I couldn't breathe again.

I feel like everything within me is panicking like I was going crazy. My heart was beating like crazy, and so was my breathing. I've never felt something like this before.

What was about him that drove me this crazy? Was it his lips? His raven locks? His hands? His voice? Or maybe it was those eyes, those dazzling eyes that got me hooked the moment it locked gazes with me.

"Nice meeting you, Yeonjun."

That night.

We met that night.

On a cold February night in the dance room, I met Beomgyu.

"Okay, that's all for today!"

After our choreographer taught us the steps, the practice was finally finished. Everyone started to gather their things and leave the studio. Some were talking about the choreography, while some just chattered about random things like where they're going to eat as they drink from their bottles of water. It was another tiring day of dancing, but for Beomgyu? The day wasn't over yet.

It was already passed eight in the evening, everyone had already left, and the dark hollow sky was already splattered with twinkling lights that glowed every-so-brightly every night. The moon's rays illuminated through the glass windows, the sound of Beomgyu's feet hitting the wooden floor reached my ears, and the sight of his serious face reflected in the wall mirror was seen.

I was sitting on the far back, our bags and water bottles were sitting beside me. I found myself staring at him, I didn't know why but something about the way he moves with the beat caught all my attention. I couldn't avert my gaze away from him, I was here, sitting and staring at this certain raven-haired boy.

He was practicing non-stop. Not even caring to drink water or rest for at least five minutes. Beomgyu was drowning himself with dancing, while watching him, it felt like he was trying to forget something- as if he was bringing out all of his bottled emotions through dancing.

And I know because I felt it.

It's just like what anyone would do, honestly. They would say the words left unsaid through something. Maybe in a painting, or a drawing. A song? Or a melody. Stories, poems, and prose. Maybe through a picture, some even shed everything out through crying in the middle of the night. That's how you can understand a person even when they don't say it.

Look into their eyes, in that way, you'll understand.

"This is bullshit!" Beomgyu's voice echoed through the walls. The sound of his voice, it was like a whole river of pain and disappointment. He sits on the floor and hugged his knees, I could even hear his heavy breathing from my place. Sighing, I approached him with a bottle of cold water around my hand.

"Here, drink this. You might get dehydrated," I said and touched his cheek with the bottle of water. Beomgyu automatically leans his face away upon feeling the cold bottle that hit his cheek.

"Thanks, Jjuni," He said and grabbed the water bottle, feeling satisfied when I saw him drink from it. I sat down beside him, and he rested his head on my shoulder.

Deafening silence took over. The whole world seemed to know that Beomgyu needed silence right now. No words, no hugs- just a pure comforting silence to ease down his chaotic mind.

"Why do we live when we're only going to suffer?"

His question caught my attention. It's the same question I ask every single day as well. Why do we need to go through life if we're only going to suffer? Get hurt by people's words and actions? Being betrayed by the person you trust the most in this world? When we're just going to die in the end?

What's the point, exactly?

I stared at his reflection in the mirror; from his raven hair to his captivating eyes, and his pink lips. The way his chest rose and fall as he sought for oxygen, and how this dim lighting caressed his soft skin.

When I slowly found myself staring at him, I started to feel uneasy when I felt my heart racing once again.

Then it hit me.

"We live to do the things we want in life. Not for crying, for breaking apart, or for hurting. We live to mend and build ourselves," I answered. I looked at him again through the wall mirror in front of us, he was looking down, a frown on his pink lips.

"We live to meet new people that can make us happy, to create unforgettable memories with the people we love, to be happy, and to..."

I stopped my words from coming out of my lips. My hands reached for his and slowly intertwined our fingers. I brought his hand closer to my lips and kissed his knuckles. With this, Beomgyu looked at me, eyes screaming confusion and hundreds of questions I still don't know the answer to.

"... to love."

I stood up from the wooden floor and lent my hand out, "Let's dance?" I asked with a small smile that curved together with my eyes.

He stared at my hand for a while before gulping, he took hold of my hand and I lifted him up. Wrapping my hand around his waist, I heard him gasp. His eyes widened as I felt his breathing stopped, it made me chuckle. Damn, he's driving me crazy.

I always crave for him; his touch, his warmth, his scent—everything. I want to touch every part of him; like a painter with a brush, a writer with a pen, or a sketch artist with a charcoal pencil. I want to be an artist and make him my masterpiece.

Every piece of him, I wanted it. I wanted him. I wanted Beomgyu so much.

I raised his head with his chin, we locked gazes with each other—just like the very first moment we met. I still remember how I felt when I first saw those pair of hazel orbs, and the feeling still remains until now. I could never get enough of it. Every single thing about him was addictive, I couldn't stop myself from craving more and more of him.

His captivating eyes.

His pink lips.

Those crazily soft raven locks.

His soft hands.

The way he dances.

The way he talks and laughs.

Everything made me addicted to him.

"I'll tell everything I want to say with this dance," I said with a deep and husky voice.

I looked into his eyes while pulling him closer to my chest, I started to move my feet as excitement filled my chest. It was like we're dancing the waltz, he followed my lead while we stared at each other. Neither us were breaking away from the gaze, it was like we were magnets attracted to each other. 

I bent my knees as I leaned down together with him; a hand around his waist and the other intertwined with his other hand. We stayed in that position for a while, because we took the time staring deeply into each other's eyes—gazes almost piercing through the soul.

Eyes speak out our emotions better than our lips, right?

I let my eyes say it all; every word that I wanted him to know, every ounce of emotion I wanted him to feel. I wanted it all to reach him, maybe just a little bit, I hope it reaches him.

My love for him.

My pain.

Everything.

I want him to feel it, I want him to know how deep I fell down the abyss of love while screaming his name. Will it even reach him? Will he know what I truly feel even if I don't use my lips to say it?

Will this dance be enough?

I lifted him up and twirled him around like a ballerina. Taking a few steps away from each other, as if this was a choreography we already practiced, he already knew what to do. Slowly, he walked towards me again and jumped into my arms. I could feel his hands crawl down my nape and held it tightly, I rested my head on the crook of his neck and took in his scent. He smelled like flowers and there was also a hint of sweat.

I caught him with ease and rested my hands under his thighs as he wrapped his hands around my neck. We were both catching our breaths, but our gazes were still locked on each other. No matter how hard I try to avert my gaze away from him, I just couldn't. Maybe if I was put amidst a room of artwork, my eyes would still stare at Beomgyu.

He rested his forehead on mine, tears falling down his rosy cheeks like a waterfall. There was no music, no beat, no melody. Just the sound of our hearts beating as one, letting the moon stare at us through the glass window, and our eyes bleeding out every drop of words we wanted to say. 

Why was he crying?

Did he understand what I was trying to say?

Or was it the answer to my feelings? 

He hops off and landed on the wooden floor, hands still around my neck. He buried his face deeper down the crook of my neck, staining it with his warm tears. His sobs reached my ears as I wrapped my hands around his waist.

The dance was over.

Did I reach his heart?

"Hyung, I'm sorry."

With his voice coming out as a whisper, he said those words.

That was it.

That was all he said before running out of the room, leaving me all alone in this big and lonely place. My heart was beating like crazy, hands were shaking, and my legs felt like they were about to give in. I sat on the floor while burying my face deep within the palm of my hands.

Questions spreading across my mind, what-ifs, and assumptions. I felt hopeless, did I messed everything up? Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I was being selfish. 

But why did he apologize?

Did he get what I was trying to say?

That all this time...

I love him with all that I am. 

TAP. TAP. TAP. 

The sound of the rain echoed through the city of Seoul, it was already past eleven, but the city still looks lively like it is during the day. Some were still at work, some were going home with their cars. There were people walking down the pavement with their coats and umbrellas, and the buildings' lights were forming an ocean of lights that can be viewed above the dark sky.  
It was peaceful, I could feel the soft breeze enveloping my hands, and the refreshing smell of air lingering through my nose. The city at night was my favorite time of the day, I love walking around the streets at night. It refreshes my mind, it makes me feel calm.

As I walked down the pavement with the droplets of rain crashing down my blue umbrella, I buried my other hand down the pocket of my pants. The droplets of rain ringed through my ears, and the street lights were guiding my way down the empty streets.

Suddenly, I stopped.

I raised my umbrella higher and saw that oh-so-familiar raven-haired boy I met in February. He was standing there, under the rain, with no umbrella. He was looking up the hollow sky while letting the cold droplets of rain stream down his pale skin, his black shirt was already drenched by the rain, however, he didn't seem to care.

That sight.

Beomgyu with the droplets of rain.

It was beautiful.

Somehow, I felt myself falling in love again. The rain was beautiful, and so was Beomgyu. I could feel my heart racing from my chest, my cheeks burning to the tips of my ears, and the sound of the rain slowly disappeared as I focused my all in staring at the beauty in front of me.

How can he make me fall in love every time?

I was about to approach him when I saw him open his eyes and raise his hands in the rain. As if he was trying to catch a droplet of a tear falling from the sad sky above our heads. Slowly, he started moving his entire thin body together with the cold rain.

Every drop of rain, even though they all fell down together, they were all lonely. Just like us, just like me and Beomgyu.

He was dancing.

Dancing with the beat this rain was making.

The rain served as his music.

The way he danced, he was letting out an emotion I couldn't point out what. A whole river of mixed emotions; he was dancing out a lot of different emotions. Bliss, gratefulness, and pain; he was dancing all of those out together with the rain. But for what? For whom? Why? I was confused, really confused. Did something happen that he's dancing like this?

Every step he took, his feet clashing together with the rain, it was satisfying to hear. The way he raised his hand as if he was trying to reach for the brightest star taking a nap in the hollow sky, just like me. However, I already took a hold of that brightest star.

And that was when I first saw him in the dance room that night.

As I stared at him while he was dancing, everything seemed to flash back into my mind. From the very first moment I saw him on that dark night in the dance room, that night we danced together in the dance room, up until this very moment.

It was like that dance room wanted us to meet and reach this point.

He stopped.

I felt my heart racing once again when you turned around and faced me. Our eyes met, the rain continued to pour loudly, but all I could hear my the loud beating of my own heart. Droplets of rain streamed down your face, your chest rising and falling at a fast paced, and your lips were slightly parted.

Words stumbled out of those pink lips. Although the rain fell loudly and your voice came out as merely a whisper, it still reached my ears. 

"Did my answer reach you?" 

It did.

It reached me, Beomgyu.

Your answer reached me.

I stood in front of you, a few meters away from where you're standing. A spotlight standing on the stage with us as we stared at each other's hazel orbs. Today, on this very stage with a lot of people to watch, I'll give you my final farewell. 

The music started to play, slowly, we walked towards each other. I held his hand and wrapped my other hand around his waist. I pulled him closer to my chest, can he feel my fast heartbeat?  
We walked around his circles while looking at each other's eyes, still. His hand touched my cheek, as my hand intertwined our fingers together. Can he feel my pain through my eyes?

I spun him around once then bent down together with him. I lifted him up and turned around, then gently placed him down the floor yet again. Can he feel how much I love him?

We continued to dance, our bodies moving as one with the slow melody. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to tell him how hard this is for me. How hard it is for me to let him go even though I don't want to. I badly want to hold on to him, but how could I when he never held on to me in the first place?

He never saw me the same way I did.

He never stared at me that same way I did whenever he's dancing.

He never smiled widely whenever he saw me in the crowd.

He never heard his own heart beating loudly whenever we lock gazes with each other.

Yes, Beomgyu, your answer reached me. And it hurts so bad. It broke my heart into pieces, stabbing my chest and letting myself bleed. Tears trailed down the pillows of my bed that night you told me your answer. I felt like dying, as much as I wanted to dance a choreography perfectly, I wanted to dance it with you too. I wanted to look deep within your eyes while our hands touch and let the music control us.

"Why do we live when we're only going to suffer?"

I suffered because of you. I suffered because of everything you did to me. The way you made me lose my breath, the times I hurt my cheeks from smiling too much because of you, every time you smiled at me—it gave pain to my chest because of how fast my heart was beating. The way you danced inside the studio, the way you looked at me, the way you talked, laughed, and the way those eyes shined ever-so-brightly unlike any other star in the hollow sky.

I suffered because of that.

If living means suffering because of you, I'd most willingly live forever. 

He jumped towards me and landed in between my arms, he wrapped his legs around my waist and his hands around my neck; just like that night.

You rested your forehead on mine, we stared at each other, your eyes were beginning to get glossy; did you feel it too?

The pain in my heart, did you feel it too?

Were you able to feel every emotion I felt because of you?

Just like that, our performance ended. He jumps off and landed on the floor gently, he slowly unwraps his hands around my neck while looking down the floor.

Suddenly, the lights turned off and when it turned on again, the light focused on one person amidst the audience that watched our performance earlier. Arching a brow, I was confused.  
Beomgyu walked away from me and stood in front of the stage while facing that red-haired boy in the crowd. He was confused, just like me. Just like everyone else. However, Beomgyu seemed to know what was happening.

"Taehyunnie."

That voice. He never talked to me with that kind of voice before. It was gentle and soft, like a lullaby for a baby.

"I've loved you for six years now and I'm only falling deeper in love with you every single day..."

And that's when I heard my heart break yet again. Tears escaped my eyes as I watched Beomgyu slowly kneel down the stage while taking out a scarlet box. Taehyun stood up from his seat, his eyes widened as his lips curved into a smile.

The kind of smile I have whenever I see Beomgyu. 

He never looked at me that way before; a stare filled with admiration and love. He never did. Was I never enough for you to look at me like that, Beomgyu?

"Will you..."

No please don't say it. Look at me, Beomgyu. Look at me now. Can't you find it in your heart to love me too? Will always suffer in this world? Beomgyu, why? Why can't you love me back?

My dance, was it never enough to reach your heart? 

"... marry me, Kang Taehyun?"

The crowd cooed and cheered for Taehyun to say 'yes'. The red-haired boy cried while running towards the only boy I've loved throughout these years, the boy I wanted to live forever, the boy I always wanted to see smiling, and the boy I could never have.

I know, I was hopeless from the very beginning, but nonetheless, I still had a slight bit of hope that he'll be able to love me as well.

Sadly, he never did. Not once.

I never saw a spark in his eyes whenever he looked at me, his smile never reached his ears whenever I'm talking to him, and his heart never shouted my name in the first place. Kang Taehyun, it was shouting Kang Taehyun's name.

"Yes!" Taehyun voice filled the auditorium as Beomgyu hugged him and puts the silver ring around his finger. That sight, it was beautiful, just like the time I saw Beomgyu dancing in the rain.  
However, beautiful sights can break your heart too.

And that's what it did to me. 

I gently closed my eyes as a tear escaped my eye.

This is it.

This is goodbye.

I'm finally letting you go after all these years.

"Goodbye, Beomgyu."

With that, I turned my back and left the auditorium as the two of them continued to drown in their own little world.

Did my feelings reach you?

**Author's Note:**

> hi :DDD stay safe!


End file.
